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sky_moonbeam's journal

After 2 months of procrastination, I've finally come about making my New Year's resolution.
It's as simple as it gets;

I fucking can’t sleep because I can’t stop crying.
Mom brought up our old dog at the table yesterday.
In case you didn’t know, I once had an English Cocker Spaniel when I was 9 going ten. Her name was Ginger, I had no idea how old she was, but she was previously trained by owners who sold her away because they were moving to a HDB flat. When I left to holiday in America in 1998 for two or three weeks, my dog was kidnapped during that period of time. We left the dog under the care of my cousin, who also had another dog. One faithful evening, someone kidnapped all the dogs along that street.
I found out yesterday that my mom actually dreamt of Ginger, called back and asked my Dad if everything was fine. Dad just said to come home quickly. She said in her dream, Ginger looked haggard and lost, and she kept going, ‘what happened to you Ginger?’
Oh god.
God, I can’t stop crying.
Oh god.
People say that when someone close to you passes on, you dream of that person one last time. I hope that happened to her.
Ginger, I really hope you passed on quickly. You must’ve been scared and lonely when they took you away. You must’ve been terrified, and wishing one of us was there with you. I really hope your torment was ended quickly. I hope your kidnappers were humane enough to let you go soon.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.
I’m sorry I didn’t treat you better when you were with us.
I’m sorry I didn’t love you more.
I’m sorry I didn’t put in more effort to look for you.
I’m sorry I didn’t try my best to get you back.
I’m sorry I was so helpless.
Just know I really loved you.
R.I.P. Ginger.
I want to see you soon.

You freakin' ass.
I'm not going to you for my problems any more.
